My answer to "why blogging" is simply because -I can. Not that I do everything that I can do, but I wanted to put myself out there to make a voice. Yet it didn't take me so long to figure that I took myself too seriously. The first feelings after starting to blog were (which is not long ago) very similar to ones at first year of grad school. I am no Dante, therefore my divine blogging world has only 6 layers:
Layer 1: Ego crash. Everybody is smart, and they are watching and I make lots of grammar mistakes. Crap. This is not going to work.
Layer 2: Getting the first comment! Realizing that there is life out there. Keep writing.
Layer 3: I am not getting much counts... I wonder if servers are OK. (Contact blogger)
Layer 4: Posting the most brilliant thoughts of yourself that gets zero attention. Yet learning to live with it.
Layer 5: Realizing the importance of networking and going to meetings (yes!). Also realizing that people "do" read and they also remember what you have written (outcome: tearful eyes)
Blogger's Nirvana: Moment you realize you can no longer keep the track of comments / readers.
Yeah.. this flux is not much different than being a scientist actually. It is like a time period when you publish your first paper and excitingly wait for the moment of someone citing your work, to the point of not giving a damn anymore (which takes approximately 30 years and plenty of accomplishments). Thus when you realize your voice counts, you are the commender in chief and no longer outside the club.
Blogging created a different world for me. That world is connected to what I am going through everyday but strangely apart from it, also. It is hard to follow who says what and sometimes it feels like everybody is talking at the same time while reading blogs but surely blogging helped me to be a better reader - than a writer and is making me learn whole a lot. Therefore I think I am in a winning situation. I also count the fact that blogging made me start doing proof-reading, which is a priceless virtue for a lazy ass.
Well.. I guess I will never know who is really reading this blog. Or if anyone else is reading it for real. I don't care, really. I might be just talking to myself. And maybe I am writing just for myself.. My thoughts are my marble toys that I have been carrying in my pocket for so long. Therefore it matters for me that I am sharing them. Whether or not people take it, I am putting it out there.
Who else do you write for, anyways?

4 comments:
i think it's great that you are so candid about your journey through blogging.
sometimes it's scary knowing that as bloggers, we open ourselves up for criticism and speculation.
you are absolutely right, though. at the end of the day, you blog for yourself and that's the best reason to keep doing it.
keep it up. you have a lot of interesting things to say and i enjoy reading them!
Karen V.
Thanks Karen. At the end of the day, we are blogging for bloggers, I guess. :)
Interesting yet funny post. Blogging also appeared to me as a way to keep an open mind on the world, make friends... The funny thing is that once you've started it, you feel like doing it as much and frequently as possible.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Valentin, novoseek
Thanks for stopping by, Valentin :) You are right, blogging is somewhat addictive. Every voice counts and once I submit my thoughts to world wide web, I feel that I am doing my part. (well... at least some of it)
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