I am not ready for the icy cold weather. And since I don't believe in any of the available gods, my options to pray for better weather are out. There is always the agnostic gateaway but I guess the pride weights heavier..
But really, who would you wish things from if you do not have a God on call or even a mom right by you? Therefore I just have to let autumn go.
I was already grumpy this morning, while waiting for the 30-min late shuttle when it was 25 degrees (that is in fahrenheit : a pseud note my European readers) and literally feeling like the ultimate snowwoman of all times. Hungry, sleepy, freezing and desperately hoping that the experiment from last night has worked, at the same time remembering good old noblesse oblige times of mine. The times that I felt like a winner, not a still-trying-to-get-out-of-school frozen being. But there I was...
When I made it to lab, another ego-fluctuating day of mine has officially started. Experiment (check), coffee (check), run away before weirdo coffee-man sees me (check), waste time with silly emails and unnecessary networking sites (check). There, it was already noon! Where did the half of my day go? (Visit Grad Hacker if you don't want to end up like me) What was I saying.. ego?.. right. The only thing that crashes into pieces each day but somehow manages to fix itself up the day after: Ego. Or mine, in particular. You wonder who is the girl that tries to explain her mentor why she forgot to add enzyme into an enzymatic reaction? Yeah, now you know me better (by the way the right answer is that her head is nothing but a smashed pumpkin today).
Ugh, back to Autumn.. Glendon Mellow had this post, which drew my attention due to the picture of choice instead of its concept. While I have no problem stating this fact shamelessly, I think I calmed down after seeing the photo on his post, anyways. That was it! I just missed autumn already! I just wanted to walk on dry leaves and focus on romance rather than endless postdoc applications.. I don't want to freeze, not that I care dying old in a dark corner of a lab in nowhere one day. All I wanted was colorful leaves.. Now what is left is higher gas bills.
(and just like that, she has lost it..)
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6 comments:
"There, it was already noon! Where did the half of my day go?"
That's funny. Ah...the problems of grad student life. Thanks for the shout out. I wish visiting Grad Hacker would fix this situation. Alas, even writing Grad Hacker doesn't seem to fix it.
Although, in all seriousness, recognizing time wasting when it happens seems to be the most important step and although I've never fixed the problem, I think I've gotten a lot better over the past few years. Now I'm a lot more conscious of when I know I'm doing fun things like checking blog comments and reading other blogs...for example, right now!
Glad my hastily-taken photo brought an autumn mood!
@Glendon : I like the way you see things, including your pictures and drawings. I can smell autumn in that photo!
@Grad : I came to a point where I think productivity is notional especially in grad school. I sound so wise but I guess I should say I "finally" realized that I can not just 14 hours straight a day and I enjoy other things but my thesis topic :) And yes, consciousness is good, it makes you feel in control.
" I "finally" realized that I can not just ------ 14 hours straight a day"
haha, I still can't face it!
Even if you prayed to a god, it wouldn't make any noticeable change in the weather. Imagine what a chaos it'd be if there was a god and he/she changed the weather every time someone prayed for a change.
That is a very good point Aydin and one of the reasons that I don't have one. I am a greedy with high expectations when it comes to asking stuff from god.
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