I do strongly feel like a stranger in this country recently. I must admit, I suspect it has something to do with soon-to-arrive elections however it is not a feeling that I have not tasted before.
Living in the south part of the states, you get accustomed to being a stranger. Just like a mask ball that is, after some time people realize that you are a visitor no more and make a living here (at least for a while), yet the masks drop. That warm, cozy southern tribute leaves itself to annoying superficial dialogues or judgemental looks each time you do something "unamerican". Many times I did have troubles speaking my own language in public. Yet having to talk to someone-in-person-in-another-language can create disasters time to time. My very ex-roommate has warned and explained to me why I should speak English with my Turkish friends even by the phone (now you know why she is the ex). I remember this guy in blockbuster that I have run into with my fiance once. He had just stopped right in front of us and did not move his eyes until we stopped talking (which in fact is a difficult task for me to do) however I did. I was scared.
Some people love to label and they label you as "the other" or "the opportunist using their resources" or "the one who steals their jobs and education" et cetera. The list goes on and on and after some time you get immuned to these comments. (Yeah I am stealing the knowledge, now you can not write a stoichiometric equation but I can, haha, loser!) Apparently the fact that education is open to everyone and I am just here to get a doctorate degree does not make any difference to some. My life is not structured around expectations from other people and I am aware that stupidity and ignorance has no race and can not be generalized no matter how common you ran into them but rationale does not always diminish disturbance.
No need to say that living in another country (doesn't matter which one) is hard. Merely I really want to understand what is the resource of the speak-my-language and/or "do not make any comments on elections if you don't vote" attitude is coming from. Don't they get it? Why are you so proud of your country? What did you do to have the privilage (as some calls it)? Don't you have any other peculiarity to be happy about? I can comprehend being proud of your child's rank in high school, but, why the flag? This rhetoric sessions can go endless..
Despite the inevitably unpleasant emotions that surround many people, we, the strangers of this country, have all the rights to speak up and make a comment on what's going on where we live (what does it take to belong to where you live?). This might come off as shocking to some but we are living in this world, altogether. Yet it is not only a matter of your cozy county's policy, darn right there is more! (wink wink) And there is whole a lot more to say, but I really can not pull the best words for the day. Later.
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6 comments:
Betül, I am sorry that my countrymen and women are idiots. Obviously, it's not all of us, but it certainly is far too many.
No need to be sorry. Idiocy is pretty global.
Well, yes. But I'm sorry they're being idiots to you.
I have posted this very late at night, it was a harsh day, I guess I was filled up. Sometimes we face the same thing differently and even simple ignore is tough to do. One of those moments, you know..
Nice post, Betul. Actually, I have so many stories to share. What I go through is worse than yours, cause this idiot is my PhD advisor.
He is an extremely cynical person and loves making fun of his international students'(especially Chinese) accents during the group meeting presentations. He also does not want us to speak in our native language in the office or in the aisle, basically anywhere close to his office. Cell phones are also not allowed in the student office since talking on the phone may bother other students. The reason is that the students may not concentrate on what they read/write when they hear the conversations done with the other weird(!) languages around. He also thinks that it is not ethical. We do research, we have to share the information otherwise it will be espionage.
I have never had a serious problem with international students but an American student sometimes may have a negative attitude towards an international student. It may be because of the fact that he/she is here to get a PhD and to steal an american's job(as you mentioned in an interview:))(just kidding!)
One day, while I was speaking in Turkish, an American postdoc in the research group came and interrupted me saying that "Turkish is a very loud language". I said "It is not the language, it is me talking loud. I am a loud person and I speak clear & loud."
By the way, why don't you use Twitter? I have just mentioned about your research work and your blog on my Twitter account:) There are so many scientists/researchers out there sharing information, nice useful research related links, lifetime stories.
Have a Great Day!
Hi Elif, welcome abroad :)
Wow.. seems like what you have been through is indeed not comparible with mine, so thanks for making me feel better!
I used to get so annoyed when people constantly ask me: "so when are you going back to your country?" variants. And you can tell who asks those questions by meaning to be rude and who does not. Earlier I used to just sit there and explain my case but now my answer is simple: "Yes I am here and I will take over your job, haha!" I think this response has a higher impact :) Bonus track: (adamina gore muamele)
You have to keep in mind though, graduate school is a place that has kiss-ass abundancy. So if your boss is behaving that way, no wonder the low-self-esteemers behave the same way as he does.. (this is what happens if the imam farts) (there goes another turkish saying.. lost in translation, but you got me)
;)
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